You Won’t Believe What Ripple Just Did in the Middle East! 😲🚀

by

Ah, Ripple! Once a modest fish paddling about in the fathomless ocean of money, now it’s flapping its fins triumphantly in the steaming tea-cups of the Middle Eastern bazaar. Picture this: one morning, the bearded officials at the venerable Dubai Financial Services Authority rub their weary eyes only to find Ripple burrowed under their windowsill, brandishing a new license! One can only wonder if someone slipped a samovar of strong tea into the ledger books.

With the papers signed (perhaps even sealed with a dab of shawarma grease), Ripple now pitches its tent on the golden sands of the UAE, whispering promises of “transparent cross-border payments”—which, in this tangled world of crypto, is rather like offering a fogged-up monocle to a blindfolded customs officer. Ripple’s managers, one foot on a digital camel, the other on their cloud-hosted ledgers, dream of taking over remittances while dodging sandstorms and tax authorities alike.

According to some mercenary scribe’s blog (likely paid in stablecoins and dates), the Middle East has galloped to the world’s 7th largest crypto economy, probably while other economies were still hunting for their passwords. Ripple, never slow to sniff out a gold coin in a sand dune, put its first office in Dubai in 2020 because nothing says “serious finance” like a headquarters surrounded by Burj Khalifa’s looming shadow.

Now, 20% of Ripple’s customers hail from the Middle East, either because of robust regulation or, more likely, because local tech whiz-kids were bored of souks and yearned for the sweet aroma of speculative assets. Apparently, startups and big institutions alike have caught the fever, suffering the side-effect of telling people at parties, “I’m a crypto entrepreneur” and watching their aunt faint into the baba ghanoush.

“This licensing milestone helps legitimize digital assets”—so proclaims Ripple, managing to keep a straight face. The company wields tools like stablecoins and “custody”, which sounds more like a police matter than a business solution, but these are modern times. If you want to keep your coins under your mattress, you hire Ripple to build you a digital mattress made of encrypted clouds.

On X, formerly known as Twitter before it was kidnapped and given an edgier name, Reece Merrick (the local field marshal of Ripple’s desert campaign) expressed gratitude in a video, likely shot while dodging tumbleweeds of regulation. He calls the region “one of the most promising”—and who would argue, with that many investors and camels?

Recent scrolls and carrier pigeons report that 85% of financiers now trust digital assets at least as much as they trust their cousin’s pyramid scheme and that 97% believe digital assets will be crucial for their business, as if this were foretold in the Arabian Nights.

Already, 40% of local firms clutch digital asset custody like a new-born lamb; the others wait, perhaps to see if anyone gets eaten by regulatory jackals. Not to be outdone, Ripple recently rolled out its own stablecoin—RLUSD—which sounds like something you find between couch cushions but is, in fact, good for sending money and fueling DeFi projects, whatever magical contraption that is.

No sooner had Ripple finished its coffee than it gazed across the sea at the foggy streets of London. Cassie Craddock, Ripple’s ambassador to Her Majesty’s blockchain, delivered a rousing speech about “moving at pace,” undoubtedly while sipping tea and glancing nervously at her rabbit-shaped hat. The British are working on crypto rules, and Ripple sees this as the next grand tableau upon which to dance its digital ballet.

So there you have it: Ripple rides the dunes, vaults over regulatory hurdles, and courts the crown. As for what will happen next, consult your tarot cards—or better yet, your blockchain ledger.

Read More

2025-05-01 23:01