You Won’t Believe Where Billions in Crypto Are Pouring In! 🚀💸

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Ah, yes, the inexorable currents of capital—how they churn and swell, indifferent to the fretful farmer or the city clerk. According to the esteemed scribes at Glassnode (whose charts have, doubtless, ruined more dinners than vodka), these past three weeks have seen a torrent of positive 30-day inflows: the kind that make even the most stone-faced banker reach for his monocle…or his heart medicine.

Our modest tale begins with three principal actors—Bitcoin, Ethereum, and an anonymous chorus of stablecoins. Together, they perform a ballet more delicate than a Moscow spring: billions pirouetting across exchanges, their every move scrutinized by anxious onlookers, some of whom have yet to explain to their mothers what a blockchain is.

On the fateful day of May 13, the ledger of glory read thus:

  • $36.2 billion flooding in (enough to buy every potato in Russia…twice)
  • $8.27 billion from the stolid army of stablecoins, whose job is to stand still while everyone else dances
  • $2.76 billion in Bitcoin and Ethereum shifting seats at the theater—if you blinked, you missed it

This atypical eruption in market capitalization and the so-called “realized value” (a phrase that makes it sound like the market just discovered Dostoevsky) has emboldened investors, who now strut about as if their wallets are immune to disappointment. Bitcoin, that stubborn mule, sits above $103,000, smirking at any mention of gravity.

It is a parade not seen since the last great bull market—a time when men were men, charts were up and to the right, and sleep was but a rumor. Whether this deluge signals a gilded age or merely the prelude to another epic hangover, none can say. Not even the analysts, who have already hedged their bets like nervous Russian grandmothers peering out the window at an oncoming thunderstorm. 🎻

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2025-05-14 12:11